Rebuttal

This is war.

It seems as though a certain blogger/sister has taken up the case against cats, when in reality there is no case against cats.

It is now my responsibility, my mission, to put her thoughts to the test, to render them completely null. I will flatten her accusations like a steamroller to a crepe.

Argument #1: Malodor

Cats do not smell (although there is one exception which I will briefly examine later). You want a smelly animal? Get a hippo, a skunk, oh, get a dog. But if you are looking for a putrid pet, you certainly do not want a cat. Cats bathe incessantly. They are cleaner than you are upon stepping out of the shower. This is because they are home all day licking themselves. Dogs only lick themselves when they absolutely have to, like when they have a dirty flea biting them or someone accidentally drops a piece of steak on their back.

Argument #2: Trouble

I have nothing against dogs; I love them. But the truth is, dogs are way, way more trouble than cats. With a cat, all you have to do is scoop out a couple poops from their litter box. With a dog, you have to follow it around with a plastic bag and cheer every time it goes, especially in bad weather when you wish it would quit turning around in circles and sniffing the ground and you are wanting to get back in the house already to watch the football game. And if you don't follow the clean-as-you-go plan, then you'd better be prepared to go slippin' and slidin' every time you walk into your yard because you never know just where a clandestine little piece of canine egesta may lay in wait.

Argument #3: Greetings

My little one, Jack, greets me when I come home. He doesn't bark and knock me down. He simply winds around my legs and purrs. He's not looking for food (Cats are also unlike dogs in that when you give them anything remotely ingestable, they do not instantly open up their maw and swill it down, half the time bringing it right back up again.), he's genuinely glad to see me. He told me so. (Well, okay, not in so many words, but it sure seems like it.)

Argument #4: Discerning vs. Slipshod

Cats have discriminating tastes. They don't fly into your house after a romp in the yard caked in muck and mire; their idea of fun is to chase a nice clean ball at the end of a nice clean piece of string. Ben is a very picky eater, but Jack is a bit more liberal with his tastes. He has an affinity for bananas and garbanzo beans, cantaloupe and the water from canned tuna. What a classy little gentleman.

Concessions

I will grant my opponent this: cats are not good traveling companions. The times we've had to take them in the car have been trying for everyone involved. This is when smell can become an issue.

Getting Ben (the "human" looking one) into his kennel is akin to getting an elephant into a pillowcase. But it's not a size issue, it's the level of difficulty. He fights as though you are trying to cut his tail off at the quick. He behaves as you would if you were being dragged to the electric chair and you absolutely did not do it. Then, when he realizes that every effort is futile, he lets out a stink that would curl your hair. There is no other description for this stench except to say that it is fetid, vociferous, and downright dangerous to small children, the elderly and those with weak immune systems.

Conclusion

Cats rock and cats rule. 'Nough said.