Kiki

A mid-60ish woman laden with cheap jewelry, layers and layers of clothing, gigantic plastic-framed glasses and a wildly printed head wrap stood before the cages at Chicago Animal Care and Control. She had her eye on Nelson, a small beagle, voracious in his wish to escape his confinement and go for a walk. I approached her.

She lifted the neck of her pink turtleneck sweater over her mouth and told me she wanted to see that dog. I leashed him and took them outside. As we spoke she put the sweater over her mouth when she laughed. "I'm having dental work," she explained. She told me her name then and said that everyone calls her Kiki.

Another couple interested in Nelson came outside with us. "Is he neutered?" the other woman asked.

"Yes," said her partner. "He's missing some of his property." I laughed. Kiki said, "What does that mean? Does he have a penis?"

"Yes," I said. "He's just missing some of his equipment."

"Why would they do that?" she asked.

"So he can't have babies," I told her.

"Can he still pee okay?" Kiki seemed truly baffled.

"Yes," I said. "They just do that so he can't have babies. Otherwise he's perfectly fine."

As a very talkative Kiki and I walked Nelson around the large yard, it came out that she has been a long-term dog owner and a nurse! She took care of babies, she told me.

A nurse? And she has no idea about the mechanics of reproduction? Couldn't be.

Kiki adopted Nelson. I think she'll give him a good home. But I think she's a little wacky, too.