The Princess and the Pee: A Short Story by Awisa

There is a little girl named Madison who I have had the pleasure of getting to know over the past several months. She is the two-year-old daughter of my friends Heather and Dave, of the Detroit Heather and Daves. In town this past Thanksgiving, I took a little trip over to their house for a visit. They have a new baby, but unfortunately little Brookie and Heather were not home to receive me; they were at the hospital with that Billy Rubin guy I spoke about a few blog posts ago.

Maddie met me at the door decked out in her standard uniform: a pink princess dress. She showed me around her beautiful new home and we sat at the table with Miss Daddy and Aunt Mary eating yummy homemade banana bread, fudge and pomegranate seeds. Then, as can always be expected in the presence of a Wild, we started shooting pictures.

After the photography session, I sat with Dave in his office while he uploaded our work. We toiled; I made him Photoshop a pomegranate seed out of my teeth. Maddie climbed up into my lap and we sat for a long time that way, me barking commands at Dave to send me this picture or that or make this or that disappear with the magic of Photoshop.

It was cold outside; I could see the hardened snow out the window from where we sat. Perhaps that's why the warmth I was feeling on my lap felt so nice. I was already snuggled up in my knitted sweater and the princess presence was making me feel really cozy. But you know how you can sometimes come very slowly to a realization...and then it all at once, it just hits you in the face?

I was being peed on.

I guess we were all so comfortable none of us wanted to move. So some of us just peed on others of us and kept quiet about it, thinking that maybe no one would notice.

But eventually we did notice and Aunt Mary came and swooped Maddie up and changed her Pull-Up. And I, somewhat regretfully, got up from my chair, drove back to my mother-in-law's house and threw my jeans in the washer.

No harm done. And come to think of it, being peed on by a little princess isn't really that bad at all.