All is Right with the (5th Grade) World

Madeleine started school yesterday. Now that she is a fifth grader, she is very cognizant of the fact that she rules the school. The fifth graders get to do all kinds of cool stuff, including outdoor education (an overnight), the school play (she wants to star), and a "clap out" on the last day of school in which all the fifth graders exit the school to the applause of all the other grades. That is cool, I think, and I would like to be there myself, tears running down my cheeks and all.

Maddie has matured over the summer. She has also had a growth spurt. She can wear a woman-sized shoe now (which is great news for me since that means in no time my own shoe wardrobe will double!), and has started to be more responsible around the house. She is learning the nuances of what it means to be a good friend and has lots of them. Her nighttime anxiety has abated and all is right with the Maddie-world.

It is hard for me when I think about how quickly the last ten years have gone by and how quickly the next ten will surely go. I want to hold on so tightly and at the same time am trying to let go a bit so she continues to grow and be more and more independent. As cliche as it sounds, I'll say it anyway: it seems like just yesterday that I was rocking my baby to sleep, laughing at the pureed carrots smeared all over her face as she sat in her high chair trying to find her mouth. Sometimes I miss those days desperately, then I look at who she is today and I just beam.

Here's the good news for now though: when the girl eats a chocolate ice cream cone, it still ends up all over her mouth, like a painted-on clown smile. I have to force myself to tell her about it, because it is one of the things that ties me to her babyhood. Hopefully she'll keep on doing that for a while.