Last night was District 203's presentation of "Life Begins" for fifth-graders. This is a precursor to next month's "talk," the one where they take the boys and girls into separate rooms, mortify them, then hand out gifts of Kotex pads and sample-size deodorants.Last night's gig was great. In the days leading up to it, I asked Madeleine a few times how she felt about going. Was she excited? "No, mom," she said. "I don't want to hear about periods and erections." That's fair. At her age I didn't either. But she had no choice. We weren't about to miss this.
When Maddie was nine, I sat her down and spilled the beans. We used a funny book (Where Do I Come From?) which I remembered from my own 6th grade sex talk. I used the book as a supplement to flapping my lips about the subject. Madeleine hung tight - she didn't flee the room or faint. But she has never wanted to discuss this again. And now you can't even say the word "underwear" around the girl without her shushing you.
So, last night, a middle-aged, puffy-haired woman went before us and began entertaining us with information about endocrine systems, pituitary glands, and the conception of an embryo all the way through to its birth.
Naturally, the boys and girls self-segregated. And, as to be expected, the giggles began when the genital cross-section slides appeared on-screen. The boys started it. The word "testes" was a hoot, but when Ms. Puffy Hair said "penis," I thought the gigglers might need oxygen tanks. Our presenter said, "We can say penis..." then tripped over a chair. She righted herself and continued. "It's just like saying kidney or stomach." Really, lady, it's not, especially if you're 11. If you're 11, saying penis is more like saying vagina. Which is nothing like kidney or stomach, either.
On the way home, I asked Madeleine if she was glad she went. "It wasn't really about periods and erections," she said (how can she be so upset over "underwear" and speak so readily of these other things?). "It really wasn't that bad."
It really wasn't.
2 comments:
Heaven help us all, parents of tweeners!
You'll get through it. The door was always open to talking at our house and when I wanted to bring up something I used the car a lot. Captive audience, eye contact not necessary. My boys are in their 20's and the door is still open. I think it creates an intimacy in a parent/chld relationship that can only come from knowing no topic is off limits.
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