I hate to say that I'm not in control of my own life, but right now it sure feels that way. I'm in the midst of so many transitions that my head is spinning, but that's not what's bad. What's bad is that every change is hanging in the air like those floating dandelion seed heads that just waft around annoying your nose and sticking to you when you sweat. They are vexing and so are my issues. Pathetic? Pitiful? Perhaps. But so the hell what? That's the way it is right now and I'm not going to pretend otherwise.
Yeah, yeah, I have a lot of blessings. Just because a lot of things suck at the moment doesn't mean that I've forgotten to appreciate what I do have. Of course I appreciate the good - I'm not a sociopath, for Pete's sake.
I know people mean well, but I can't seem to make most people understand that I am really feeling this way and that platitudes don't help. I know that if "it"'s meant to be "it" will be. I know that God has a plan. I know that you can't (or shouldn't) force your fate and that I should stay positive and upbeat. But dammit, life is throwing me curves at every turn and I can't believe that it makes me any less of a person to just be bummed out.
And I'm really, really, fucking bummed out.
Yeah, yeah, I have a lot of blessings. Just because a lot of things suck at the moment doesn't mean that I've forgotten to appreciate what I do have. Of course I appreciate the good - I'm not a sociopath, for Pete's sake.
I know people mean well, but I can't seem to make most people understand that I am really feeling this way and that platitudes don't help. I know that if "it"'s meant to be "it" will be. I know that God has a plan. I know that you can't (or shouldn't) force your fate and that I should stay positive and upbeat. But dammit, life is throwing me curves at every turn and I can't believe that it makes me any less of a person to just be bummed out.
And I'm really, really, fucking bummed out.
2 comments:
Sometimes you just gotta feel it. Even if it's not good. For the record I don't believe in fate. We do have power and if it makes you feel better, try to do something. If it doesn't don't. If there's nothing you can do, wait it out and feel bad. If writing helps, go for it. I hope your slump is short lived. M
Well, at least you're writing again:) Seriously though, I'm sorry you're feeling the way you do. My assistance is always available if there's anything I can do to help. Apart from that, just know that, at least from what I can tell, you're rather highly thought of by shloads of people. (shloads, made it up so I wouldn't swear in front of my kids).
One more thing, I'm really glad I got connected to you. I'm one more of those shloads I spoke of above.
Post a Comment